Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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