another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
