someone owes me an orgasm
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
