I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
