I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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