absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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