I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
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