dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Randomize
