I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
