Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
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You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
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I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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