Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
