It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Enjoy the penises
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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