He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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