I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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