so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
