You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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