2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Randomize
