So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
