my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
