i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Edward fifth and chaser hands
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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