Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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