Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just high enough for therapy.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
