i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
