so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
