she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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