Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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