my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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