have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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