My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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