Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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