everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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