mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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