Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
