tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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