Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
honey bunches of taint.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
