If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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