I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
