I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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