Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
