Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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