i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
false alarm, still single
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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