what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
