she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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