i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
