I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize