I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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