So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
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you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
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My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
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