you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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