so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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