Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
