put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
