I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
