He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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