u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
