we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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