Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
