Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
