I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
