fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
God, I missed his penis.
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