Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
