you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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