Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
